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We were young, we had fun, and those times will always shine.

Ironically, some of the most carefree times I ever had were at one of the most strict universities in America. However, the restrictive rules of that university gave me a lot more freedom than the way I was raised, so I still remember my semester there with fond nostalgia.

Bob Jones University was and still is a very restrictive environment. I was a student there in the fall of 1996, when the ban still existed on interracial dating. Yes, even in 1996, such a place existed. We had a friend who was expelled for "suspicion of interracial dating." Her crime was she tended to have lunch with a classmate of another race. She insisted they were only friends, but was warned that it looked like a date so she better never eat with him alone. She did not heed the warning, and was expelled.

Bob Jones University is one of the most conservative places ever. Some people may have heard of a preacher named Billy Graham? He was in the news sometimes. In March of 1966, Bob Jones Jr., the founder of BJU said Graham, was "doing more harm to the cause of Jesus Christ than any living man," according to the archives of The Greenville News and Time magazine.

I did not love BJU for their beliefs. I was much more interested by the idea of inclusion, such as that seen in Star Trek. My obsession with Star Trek started in high school, probably due in part to a crush on a guy (A.) who was not equally interested in me. My hobby lasted longer than my crush. (Rather hard to love someone who never loves you back). The Star Trek universe fascinated me, and still does. The idea of a place where everyone might be so different, and yet find acceptance seemed unreal and wonderful to me.

I graduated from high school in 1996. The internet was just starting. At Bob Jones, we were not able to log online from the dorms, even if we had a computer, so I would often go to the computer lab to check my email. While at the computer lab one day, I saw two guys at a computer, and one of them mentioned Star Trek. I was immediately interested. Maybe there were a few real people here who had interests beyond the merits of the King James Version of the Bible!

I somehow found an opening in their conversation, and chimed in. We decided to grab supper at the dining hall together. At Bob Jones, the genders were not allowed to mix on the sidewalks after 5pm, so we walked to the dining hall "together," meaning they were about 20 feet away from me on the other side of the wide paved paths.

Dave and Brian were nerds I guess, but at least guys who could read, could debate, and were capable of actual conversation. In the coming days, they introduced me to Randy, a mutual friend, who was 6 foot 7. At 5 foot, 11 inches, I often feel tall near anyone. I think Randy is the only person I've ever really felt short beside. We would quite a tall group, with me the shortest at 5 ft 11. I loved it. It meant we all walked the same pace. I've noticed I have to shorten my stride if I walk with shorter people.

Soon we were inseparable. We met up as often as we could. We had assigned seats for the required daily chapel, but had a standard place to meet up after chapel and before lunch.

Dave's roommate, Lee, gave me one of my first nicknames. He called me Wendy because I "went around taking care of my Lost Boys." Dave, Brian, Randy, and I were all the same age, but I guess I did help them along a bit, reminding them to study as we were all adjusting from living away from home for the first time.

I had been homeschooled until high school. My second quarter of high school, my parents enrolled me in a private Christian high school. This opened my life and options, but was still a small environment. My graduating class had 15 students in it.

But Bob Jones was full of people. They had over 2,000 students! There were so many people to meet, and actual time to do so. In high school, I had to go to my job at a grocery store after school and then help care for my 6 other siblings.

In college, I did have to work at the Dining Hall, but to some extent, I suddenly had a lot more time to actually socialize so I did. It was fun to finally spend leisure time with people my own age.

One of the only places "mixed gender groups" could hang out (mixed gender meaning groups that included males and females) was a place called the Dating Parlor. None of "my 3 guys" was dating me, but we would meet up there and play this board game called BattleBots. The pieces included miniatures that Dave and Brian would paint, and then bring to show us. The figures were tiny, but delicately painted with distinct details. Each figure had certain powers and weaknesses, and through the game, we would roll dice for the "bots" to battle each other. The game was a bit like a simplified Dungeons and Dragons game.

Honestly, more than the game, I just enjoyed our conversation. Finally making friends and hanging out with them felt amazing. I had not been popular in high school. Aside from my crush, not a single other kid had been interested in Star Trek, so I was known as somewhat of a loner.

But here, here we could run around freely and talk about anything we wanted.

I was in heaven (I thought.)

It ended, as all heavenly moments seem to, way too soon. I had some pretty serious health problems. Due to BJU not allowing any federal funding, the buildings also did not comply with ADA handicap regulations. Though my parents did end up renting a mobility scooter of all things, so I could get around, not all of my classroom buildings had elevators.

In time, it just wasn't working out and the decision was made that I needed to withdraw, go home, and find better medical care.

That last night, before we packed up my dorm room still lives within my mind as one of my most carefree evenings. "My boys" checked me out of the infirmary. We had added to our group so that night it was Dave, Brian, Randy, Lee, Chris, Sarah, and Susanna and I who had one last night of fun. In 1996, cell phones (if they existed) did not have cameras. Brian had a regular camera though, and took photos. He promised to develop them in duplicate, but somehow that never happened. If the film was ever developed, I never got a copy of the photos.

I couldn't walk well. If buildings had an elevator, it never fit my rented mobility scooter, we traveled with a my scooter, my wheelchair, and my crutches. I felt very awkward. I didn't want to hold people back. I hated all this equipment that illustrated my weakness.

However, I vividly remember the night ending in a race. I sat on a bench while Randy pushed Brian as fast as possible in my wheelchair, racing Chris using my crutches, and Dave pushing hard on the accelerator of my scooter. We were all laughing, cheering on our favorites to win, and Dave yelled, "We should have gotten a scooter a long time ago!" In Dave's enthusiastic words, I felt less of a weakest link, and more like someone who, even now, added to the fun by lending my medical equipment. Even at my worst, I was loved, accepted and appreciated as a member of the group.

The plan was for me to return in the Spring semester. That never happened. Life changed. When I did finally return to college, it was in my home state this time.

Dave and I are still friends on Facebook, but it seems he hasn't logged in in years. He married, and later both of his parents died. I hope he's ok. I saw his name on Linkedin once so I think he's still somewhere in Iowa.

He and Brian had a falling out as they both loved Sarah. Brian married Sarah. I had their phone numbers and email addresses, but this was years ago. We used to talk, but somehow have lost touch. I assume they are still married.

Chris graduated and became a (small time) professional actor. We were in touch for awhile. I think he acts, and does (better paid) other jobs between gigs.

Randy married and has kids. I've found him on Facebook, but feels awkward to friend after so many years. He looks happy though.

Susanna was Dave's crush. They both married other people though. She also looks happy on Facebook, but I didn't friend her. Too many years between us. Does she even remember me?

Lee was the biggest surprise. As I heard the story, he was thrown out of Bob Jones University when he came out as gay. I found him on Facebook once. Looks like he married his husband and they are happy.

I don't know a time of (health) failure still shines in my mind with such a glow. I guess it was the fact that everything we did seemed fun. We were a group full of practical jokers and inside nick names. We were attending a strict place, but we could poke fun at the rules together. All of us passionately love science fiction, and could get lost in a good argument like, which is better, Star Trek or Star Wars?

And maybe I remember this time so fondly because it was one of the most carefree times in my life. Before college, I was always so responsible for my younger siblings. After I left Bob Jones, within a year, I got married. So then at 19, I had a husband and house to "care for" and then pets and then 3 kids.

But those nights in college, there was no one wondering where I was. No dinner to cook and no diapers to change.

Just me and friends, racing scooters and wheelchairs under the stars.

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(Notes: Bob Jones University in 1998 issued a statement saying “God has separated people for his own purposes. He has erected barriers between the nations, not only land and sea barriers, but also ethnic, cultural, and language barriers. God has made people different from one another and intends those differences to remain. Bob Jones University is opposed to intermarriage of the races because it breaks down the barriers God has established.”

BJU banned mixed-race people from entering the school until 2000.

They didn’t finally allow interracial dating until 2000, 17 years after the US Supreme Court stripped them of their nonprofit status because of their institutionalized racism.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bob-jones-u-oks-interracial-dating/

https://www.greenvilleonline.com/story/news/2018/02/21/billy-graham-had-rocky-relationship-bob-jones-university-and-its-past-presidents/360074002/

Also, please note: I attended Bob Jones due to my parents picking it as a good place for me. I do not agree with anyone discriminating due to race, gender or sexuality. It's actually horrifying now to realize I was a student at a place with such backward values. So it was oddly a horrible place for which I have some fond memories.)